Friday, 10 June 2011

Rejected

I've finally heard back from Angry Robot about the manuscript I sent during their open submission month in March.

And the answer is... Well, I kind of gave that away with the title, didn't I? I'm feeling a little down about it. Not, as you might expect, because of the rejection itself. I kind of expected that to happen. As brilliant as my book might be (or not) I had a strong suspicion that it wasn't exactly right for Angry Robot. It's definitely genre (zombies!) but I don't think it's genre enough for them.

So why am I feeling down?

You know when you send off a job applications and are then sat waiting for a response? You kind of feel that you're doing something productive while you're sat doing nothing. The fact that the application is out there, waiting for the employer to look through, means that you (or at least, I) fool myself into thinking that I'm still working towards getting that fantastic new job. And you feel you deserve at least a little rest after spending so many hours getting everything just right for sending off.

Then the rejection arrives. And suddenly you're really not doing anything. There's no hiding the fact any more and you have to make an effort to begin again. You've probably continued to look for other jobs while the application was out there, but the pressure was off. Now the pressure is back with a Vengeance.

And thus the same is true for my book rejection. Now I have to make an effort to get it into print, rather than just sitting and waiting. Angry Robot taking it on would have made life incredibly easy, but now I have to hunt for an agent, or give up on 'proper' publishing and go the self-publishing route.

I know Angry Robot said there 'probably' wouldn't be any kind of feedback, but my real hope from submitting my work was that there might, possibly, be something, some comment on the rejection. Some kind of feedback that would help me move forward. There wasn't. So now I'm wondering if the book needs another draft doing, or if it should remain as it is for the time being.

So much work lies ahead.

Where yesterday there was a small flame of hope sustaining itself with no input from me, today the fire has died down to nothing but glowing embers and I have to manually keep throwing wood at it to keep it alive.

Life's never easy, is it?

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